here we are. ashley's computer.
"i can't believe she's fucking passed out!" says girl. so many different moods. sooo many moods.
let's talk about being reunited. reuniting (slash) uniting many different facets of my life is like a collision course of self-discovery. while i want all things to jive just the same, same is the most boaring useless word in the English language.
how do you describe it other than that which has not changed/grown or been reborn.
i am one who loves the same but desires change. the thing is...when you live in the moment you get both. this strange connection to what is real while still realizing the potential for growth. for rebirth. for full realization.
i'm talking in obscure abstractions because that's what tonight's recipe has left me with. a fuzzy coma.
sometimes abstractions communicate the most simplistic universal themes in human understanding. the pure vagueness of doubt connects people in a way that specificity doesn't ((becaust it's elitist.))
i'm actually happy with where i am. it's about time i let someone into my life.
i will always make the best of it while secretly needing to grow past going with the flow.
however, today i felt guilty. i showed up to work and immediately felt like i was jeopardizing something in my life...not sure if it was personal, academic or professional. gawdd maybe i need to pay off my parking ticket. fuck the man.
the people i have mainly been hanging out with since i've been home feel like this beautiful extension of myself in the form of friends (who are becoming more than just that.) it's natural, like how uvic is, but more connected to all the roots who made me who i am. who are making me who i am. whatever that is.
cheers to positive attitudes and taking life with a grain of salt. realize what you have rather than what you don't and tell the truth. be honest open and connected and fuck putting up artificial fronts.
today is your day so live it.